Apparently I need them. The optometrist described it as feeling like “it’s a whole new world.” So far away things aren’t supposed to be that blurry after all. (When my five-year-old brother found out, he started pointing to things around the house and asking if they were blurry, before asking me what blurry means) It all makes sense now.
This might account for why 3D movies were hard for me to watch (in fact, it almost certainly does). I haven’t seen any feature length films in 3D, but whenever I watch a 3D show in, say, Disney World, characters that are close to me always split into a double image. I just chalked it up to a limitation of the technology, but maybe, if other people haven’t had similar experiences, it’s just my faulty old-person eyes. I would test it on Up, but they don’t seem to be showing it in 3D anymore, meaning I can now safely write a review at some point, knowing that I have seen the movie as it was intended to be seen.
On a side note, the optometrist noted that I passed my driver’s test because all the letters were very big. The woman fitting me for frames told me that they would help for night driving. How little they know.